I bow to peer pressure – it’s the first of December so here is something Christmassy for you!

Before I do though I will reinforce my belief that it is TOO EARLY FOR THIS!

OK OK I get that businesses use it for marketing but people who already have their decorations up?? well for me that’s just wrong!

Call me scrooge (and for reasons which you wont be interested in so I wont explain I must admit that Christmas is NOT my favourite time of year) but NO! just NO!

Anyway here is a cheesy bit of Xmas humour for you in the form of CRACKER JOKES!

Invariably groan inducing rather than laughter, Christmas cracker jokes really are a great tradition for the festive season:

Here are some of the classics….

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?


Knock, knock
Who’s there?


Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?

What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
Auld Fang Syne

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?

Because he had a low “elf” esteem!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

What is the best Christmas present in the world?

A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

And if these few aren’t enough for you – check out the Telegraph’s top 50 Christmas cracker jokes Here

Happy Holidays!